George Costanza Coaches Wrestling

With all the new interest in AI and ChatGPT, I decided to write an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza becomes a wrestling coach.

[Seinfeld and wrestling fans unite]

INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY

Jerry and George are sitting at a table, having coffee.

Jerry: “So, what have you been up to lately, George?”

George: “Oh, you know, same old stuff. Trying to find a job, watching TV, sleeping.”

Jerry: “Sounds exciting.”

George: “Actually, I started coaching high school wrestling.”

Jerry: “What? You don’t know anything about wrestling!”

George: “I know enough to be a coach. It’s all about strategy and motivation.”

Jerry: “I don’t know about that. You’re not exactly the motivational type.”

George: “I’ll have you know that I’m an excellent motivator. I give them pep talks and tell them they’re the best. They eat it up!”

Jerry: “I can’t even picture you in a wrestling singlet.”

George: “Ha ha. Very funny. But I’m serious about this. I think I could be a great coach.”

Jerry: “Okay, so what’s your big strategy?”

George: “Well, I tell them to go for the legs. That’s where the weak spot is. And then, I tell them to put the other guy in a headlock and don’t let go until they submit.”

Jerry: “That’s it? That’s your big strategy?”

George: “Hey, it works for me.”

Just then, Elaine walks in.

Elaine: “Hey guys, what’s up?”

Jerry: “George thinks he’s a wrestling coach now.”

Elaine: “What? You know nothing about wrestling.”

George: “That’s not true. I know enough to be a coach.”

Elaine: “Okay, prove it. Let’s see you take on Kramer in a match.”

George: “Kramer? He’s twice my size!”

Elaine: “Chicken.”

George: “Fine, I’ll do it. But only if you guys come to the match and cheer me on.”

Jerry: “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM – NIGHT

The gym is packed with people cheering on the wrestlers. Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer are in the front row, cheering George on.

George is in his wrestling singlet, ready to take on Kramer.

The match begins, and George quickly goes for the legs, just like he said. Kramer, however, is too strong and throws George to the ground.

Jerry: “Uh oh. This doesn’t look good.”

Elaine: “Come on, George! You can do it!”

Kramer puts George in a headlock, just like George said to do to his opponents. But George can’t seem to break free.

Jerry: “It’s not looking good for George.”

Suddenly, George remembers something he saw on TV. He uses a move he saw on a wrestling match and flips Kramer over onto his back.

The crowd goes wild as the referee declares George the winner.

Jerry, Elaine, and Kramer rush to George and lift him up in the air.

Jerry: “I can’t believe it! You did it!”

George: “I told you, I’m an excellent motivator.”

Kramer: “That was amazing, George. You should be a wrestling coach.”

George: “I already am.”

Elaine: “Well, I guess you proved us all wrong.”

George: “I told you, I know what I’m doing.”

The group cheers as the camera pans out on the gym and the cheering crowd.

Meet Todd Wightman

Based in Western PA. Right in the heart of WPIAL country, Todd brings an insider’s view from the country’s epicenter  of wrestling. He’s excited to build on the TKDWN tradition of starting with the story first. The athletes, the coaches, their families and supporters, there is no shortage of stories to tell. And Todd will bring his unique perspective to help us continue to deliver top notch content for the world’s greatest sport!